I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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