are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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