hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
