and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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