you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
