Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
