Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
