The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
