Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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