dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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