Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
