So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
