I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
