Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
