But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
