in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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