Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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