I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I could fuck to npr.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
