We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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