The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
