you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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