Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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