Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The uberlube is also flammable
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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