Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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