I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
