so let's talk penis.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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