So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
