For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
