She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
