I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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