he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
