Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
