im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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