it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
