Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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