Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
