I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
worst night to have a conscience
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
