Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
