i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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