their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize