he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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