Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
