That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
