3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
