just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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