nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
