Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
