I want to make a zoo with you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Houston, we have a blender
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
