It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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