Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
