Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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