I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
