i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
