this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
