I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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